WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE PSYCHOTHERAPY?
Pete Luce Therapy is the business name for Pete Luce, an experienced psychotherapist based in Exeter, Devon.
Psychotherapy can help in three main ways:
1) SEEING WHERE YOU ARE NOW.
Maybe you’re not sure what you really want from life, or what you really need, or why your life is presently unsatisfactory. Psychotherapy can help you find your own answers to these questions. Maybe what you want and what you need are two different things. Many people spend years of effort chasing some goal, then find they’re still unhappy when they reach it. Others are pulled between two opposite desires which cannot both be satisfied.
2) FINDING YOUR WAY AHEAD.
Psychotherapy with Pete Luce Therapy can also help you to decide what changes you might like to make in yourself. It can help you decide where to start and planning for what follows. Every big change in your life will affect those close to you. This is because they’ve got used to you being the way you are. But changes to yourself can also open doors in the world around you that you didn’t see before.
3) TOOLS TO REMAKE YOURSELF.
Psychotherapy can give you the means to make changes in yourself. For instance, by giving you more control of your reactions to people, events, and even to your own thoughts and memories. This means you can decide how to react. This is better than reacting automatically based on fear, anger, shame or other strong emotions. Many people know how they’d like to behave and react. But in the moment they find themselves reacting differently as if someone else had taken over. This is the biggest reason why people come to psychotherapy.
WHY DO SOME PEOPLE NOT HAVE PSYCHOTHERAPY?
Most potential clients of Pete Luce Therapy have a discussion with me first before deciding whether to proceed. Some are hesitant about having psychotherapy, even though they know that it might help them. There are several reasons for this.
1) FEAR OF TELLING SECRETS
People tell psychotherapists about events, experiences, thoughts and feelings which they’ve not told anyone about before. Naturally they worry. If you lend somebody money you can demand it back, even go to court to get it back if necessary. You can’t do that with information. So you need to be very clear about confidentiality.
Most important, it is your choice what you tell the therapist. A therapist should not demand any details which you don’t want to disclose. It is much better to say “I don’t want to disclose that” than to tell a lie. Lying causes confusion and wastes time.
Anything that I write down I keep securely where only I can see it. My code of conduct requires me to keep notes for seven years after I stop seeing you. After this they are destroyed. Pete Luce Therapy is just me, Pete Luce, there is no one else. My legal representatives would destroy all my notes on clients in the event of my death. Clients may see their own notes and can record sessions if they wish.
Like all therapists I discuss my cases in a monthly meeting with another therapist. But we do not mention any names or other identifying details.
There are a few cases where I would tell someone what a client has told me.
If I heard that someone was abusing children, or that somebody was planning or had committed serious violence, I would legally have to report this. And if someone told me they have a clear intention of committing suicide, I would insist on informing other people. This is because when people disclose that they’re planning suicide, it’s usually because they want somebody to stop them.
2) FEAR OF LOOKING BAD OR SILLY
Whatever you did in any situation was probably the best that you could manage in that moment. Therefore, no competent therapist would condemn you or mock you for anything you’ve done. Their job is to help you understand why you do the things you do. And to help you to react differently if necessary.
3) FEAR OF NOT BEING UNDERSTOOD
No two people in this world are alike. Even identical twins often have very different personalities. So many people wonder how could someone of a different gender, age-group, sexual orientation, class background, or ethnic group understand their lives? It’s a good question. But the answer is that a good therapist listens to the client. They do not make assumptions even if he or she has a lot in common with the client.
4) FEAR OF A BAD REACTION.
Some people are afraid to talk about very bad experiences and feelings. They fear that a therapist just couldn’t handle listening to them. However, any properly trained therapist will know how to handle their own feelings. This includes their reactions to whatever clients may tell them. This is one reason why therapists discuss their cases with another therapist in “supervision” meetings. I do not disclose anyclient names or identifying details in these meetings.
5) NOT HAVING THE RIGHT WORDS.
Some people think that therapy is only for highly educated people who can express themselves very clearly in words. But even very educated people can find it very difficult to talk about their deepest feelings. A good therapist can generally sense how you are feeling. They can tell a lot from things like expression, gestures, tone of voice, and so on. But they will then check with you whether they have understood you correctly.
6) FEAR OF THERAPISTS
Sad to say, some people have had bad experiences with therapists. Most therapists sign up to a Code of Conduct. This clarifies what they should and shouldn’t do when they’re with clients. And every year a few therapists get in trouble for breaking these rules. You should always ask which register a therapist belongs to. And check the register online to see that he or she is really there.
The main reasons why therapists get in trouble is about relationships. Seeing a therapist is a “therapeutic relationship,” which means the therapist is only there to help you. You are paying for their full attention to your needs. They should not confide in you about their own problems, or be in a bad mood before your session. They should definitely not have any sexual or romantic relationship with you. Nor should they enter any business or financial dealings with you, other than receiving the fee for your therapy.
7) FEAR OF WASTING MONEY.
You can avoid this by having a clear plan at the start of therapy. That way you know where you want to get to and what to expect along the way there. Progress normally comes in fits and starts, and there will often be setbacks along the way. On a bad day you might forget ten previous good days, because that’s how our minds work. A good therapist will help you to keep track of your own progress. And they will also know what other help might be more suitable if their therapy really isn’t working.
Click HERE to know more about me, Pete Luce, and how I work.